Art & Parkinson’s
Holding & Releasing
Tango Dancers
When tango dancers are really good, they sometimes dance on top of a small table – as small as 3 by 3 feet. It seems impossible, dangerous, given the complexity of the dance. The dancers seem confined and trapped, but incredibly alive. More free in some ways than when dancing on the floor.
This is an imperfect metaphor for our Parkinson’s situation, but I like it. Caught in a really difficult situation, you have to respect the edges. No getting off the table. Pay attention and stay close to each other. And imagine you have all the room in the world.
Waiting (Self-Containment)
The other day, I was helping Hal organize some of his poems for a book he’s putting together. For each poem, we had to decide which category it belonged in, and was it a yes, no, or a maybe.
When we began this project, I had promised myself that I wouldn’t become embroiled in it. But I had been in denial about the organization it would require – and how much help he would need.
So, with each poem, I waited for his answer, trying my best to be patient, reminding myself that this was important. But I think he could see the steam coming out of my head. At one point, he said, “Carol, remember what your line is when they ask you, ‘How WAS it working with Hal Ober on his book?’ You will say, ‘It was a privilege!’ And if you can elevate your eyes while you say that, so much the better!’”
We both knew the eye elevation would be more a rolling of my eyes rather than a looking toward the heavens in gratitude that I could be involved with such a lofty project.
And we laughed and laughed.
So, he sees and appreciates the waiting and there’s not much he can do about it.